Black and White Loneliness
by Eternal Dumas
Summary: Hichigo is tired of the rain and pays his King a visit one night hoping for something more. [Pairings:HichixIchi,  contains waff, shounenai, angst]


A/N: Uh...not much to say here except this story is completely pointless, random, very disjointed and not exactly how I wanted it to turn out. I don't expect a lot of reviews for this but still, be nice okay? Dedicated to Hell-sama on livejournal because she writes such wonderful Hichi/Ichi fanfictions and I simply can't compare. (sighs) Oh well, I can always try.

**Disclaimer: Kubo Tite is the rightful mangaka of Bleach because I can't draw to save my life.**

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It was raining again. Inside the world of sideway buildings and tilted clouds that appeared closer than they should be, there was cold, gray rain pelting down upon the lonely occupant who sat staring up at the sad sky. The lonely Hollow knew that beyond the lining of those crying gray clouds, his King was lying on his bed and staring out into nothing as his heart tore itself to pieces and he himself lay there like a soulless being with no purpose.

Even without having to see him, the Hollow already knew Ichigo was in a pathetic state, vulnerable to anything and hurting so much that even the Hollow himself could feel it. He could feel it in the bitter cold and dooming echoes of the rain falling on the buildings in this vastly empty world. An ache began to build up in his chest, unattended loneliness that no longer wanted to exist, that wanted to be replaced by the warmth of another, even if it was for only a fleeting second.

The Hollow, or Hichigo as his King had named him, was tired of being alone.

Ichigo had never felt so weary before, his own body feeling like a lead weight that was too heavy to lift itself up. It was that weariness that stopped Ichigo from realizing Hichigo had materialized into his room until the other had already pinned him down upon his bed.

"Yo, King." The deep rumble of the Hollow's voice seemed to break Ichigo from his daze. Not that it was necessarily a good thing.

"You!" His King's voice was accusing, panic-stricken too with an undeniable lace of fear in his eyes. Ichigo had immediately stiffened when he had heard Hichigo's voice and that made the Hollow mad.

What had he done to deserve this fear? Always, when he looked into the King's eyes there would never be any hint of compassion of care for him. No, only fear and spite existed in those beautiful brown eyes where the Hollow was concerned, never anything else. That was what Hichigo hated the most, and that was why he was going to make the King accept him tonight--whether he liked it or not. They were one and they belonged together. Why couldn't his King see that?

Ichigo had begun to wriggle beneath him and Hichigo realized he hadn't been pressing as much of his weight as before upon the Shinigami. He noticed there was desperateness in the other's actions and the Hollow realized he was going about this the wrong way. If he was going to make the King accept him, frightening him would certainly just cause the other to push him even further back into their world.

Hichigo sighed, wrapping his pale, white arms around Ichigo (earning a yell of indignation and more squirming from the orange-haired boy) as he shifted their positions so that he was sitting on the bed with his King in his lap.

More struggling ensued with the King now verbally yelling as he pushed against Hichigo's chest.

"Let me go! Let me go Hichigo!" His tone of increasing desperation didn't go unnoticed by the Hollow and from there; things just seemed to go from bad to worse.

"No." Hichigo's voice was defiant as he growled out the single syllable, increasing his hold on Ichigo tight enough to cause the other to let out a yelp of pain. He was tired of being ignored, tired of being thrown away into the very back of his King's mind without a second thought and just plain sick of being treated like something unwanted, something not needed.

It didn't matter to him, though, what Ichigo's friends thought of him. Just as long as his own King would accept him, then everything would be all right. But Ichigo was afraid of him, afraid of accepting something he had fought so long against and so he struggled against Hichigo's hold.

But this time Hichigo wouldn't let him go. The unbearable and tiring loneliness that had accumulated for so long in the sideways world of his King's mind had drove him over the edge. He would no longer take no as an answer but even so, he did not want to further lengthen the gap between them.

"I just want to be accepted," Hichigo murmured so softly it was barely a whisper of breath against the shell of his King's ear. Ichigo, caught off guard at the Hollow's sudden change of mood, ceased his struggling for the barest of moments.

"What?"

And that was all the time Hichigo needed.

Reversing their positions, Hichigo practically pushed Ichigo back down onto the bed as he towered over his King, pinning him down below him. There was still fright in his eyes but a more dominant emotion, confusion, shined in the depth of his brown eyes as the two twin-like beings watched each other.

Ichigo's struggling had ceased, either from Hichigo's earlier words or the fact that he was completely pinned down, the Hollow was not sure but he considered it a step better off than before. Yet what was he supposed to do now? Return back to the rain-filled inner world of his King's mind until realization finally dawned on the other? He was afraid that if he went any further than this, his King's fear of him would increase too much for them to ever talk again.

The mere thought of such a thing suddenly seemed to weigh Hichigo down even more and the same painful tiredness and loneliness he had endured for so long returned full force, bearing down upon him so heavily he thought he would suffocate.

It hurt, it hurt _so much_.

A sense of sadness suddenly overwhelmed Ichigo as he looked up at Hichigo, his other half, the Hollow of his soul that had threatened to take everything away from him, to destroy every last thing he treasured in his heart. He should have hated Hichigo, every fiber of his being should have been rejecting him and fighting against him...so why did he feel so strangely relaxed? Why did he feel so tired as he stared up into the blankly sad look in the Hollow's yellow and black eyes?

Something inside of him suddenly ceased and twisted together, forcing Ichigo to let out an involuntary whimper of pain that did not go unnoticed by the Hollow.

The Hollow immediately became concerned, his voice obviously showing it as he spoke. "What's wrong, aibou?"

His King let out strangled gasp this time, as though there was an invisible noose around his neck and chains of steel were tightening around his heart. He only managed to gasp out two words as he, in a small action of desperation, grabbed on to the front of Hichigo's shihakusho.

"It _hurts_."

The sheer raw pain in Ichigo's voice struck a chord in Hichigo and he knew now, definitely, he could not leave. Not now, when his King was like this. Right now, he wasn't worried about being accepted. Now, it only mattered that Ichigo was comforted and freed from the horrible pain he was experiencing.

Gently, almost hesitantly, Hichigo began running a pale white hand through Ichigo's orange bangs in a comforting gesture as he murmured quiet, senseless words into his ear. Ichigo's body had tensed at the touch at first, but gradually relaxed when he realized that Hichigo's actions were not meant to harm him. The words his Hollow half uttered were also like a lulling lullaby and made the pain he felt seem all the less significant.

Ichigo's hands that had been grabbing onto Hichigo's front now released the cloth he had been clenching and moved to wrap themselves around the Hollow's middle, in something akin to a hug.

Hichigo was shocked; he hadn't expected his King to do something like this. But then, he saw his eyes and understood. His King was just as lonely as he was and the rain in his inner world was only trying to convey that.

For the first time that night, Hichigo smiled a real smile that hinted of nothing beyond the simple desire to comfort. Taking that as an incentive, Ichigo tightened his grip on Hichigo's middle and bought the Hollow down to lay on top of him as he buried his face into the crook of the other's neck.

"I don't want everyone to end up like kaa-chan because I wasn't strong enough to protect them," his King whispered against his skin, warm breaths of air tickling him.

"I understand King, we are the same being after all," Hichigo replied, his lips pressed gently against Ichigo's forehead.

_Gently..._

Ichigo found it strange he should be thinking of Hichigo while using a term like gently. Usually, the Hollow was anything but gentle when they fought and when he would attack, always ruthlessly aiming towards killing him. But now...but now...

"I'm tired of being alone."

Hichigo's smile turned into a grin then as he nudged Ichigo's head upwards with his chin to capture their lips together in a small, simple kiss.

"I know," was Hichigo's single reply when they separated from the kiss, that same gentle smile still on his face.

That night was a strange night, but a pleasant one as well. That night, both halves of a single soul found the peace they were longing for. And finally--if only for this night only--the raging conflicts of black and white settled to become a quiet gray.

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**A/N**:...What in the world did I just write? Even I have no idea where this came out of, but I'm very proud of the last line. I blame the summer time for this, the laziness corrupts my brain. Haha, I know I'm weird but drop a review if you got some time, alright? Don't be too harsh please and I sincerely hope for no flames.

I also realized, this is my longest one-shot too. Kinda sad if I think about it that way. xP


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